What’s your E.Q. Five sure signs that say you’ve got high emotional intelligence five signs of emotional intelligence (EQ)

Emotional Intelligence  (or Emotional Quotient, AKA E.Q.) is becoming one of those management sound bites, where everyone knows the answer, but not so many know the meaning. You know what I mean: someone says something like, â€Å"We’ve all got to be really emotionally intelligent about this, right?† and everyone nods and goes right, yeah, we do†¦ So how do you know when you’ve actually got emotional intelligence? What should you work on to improve your emotional intelligence? It’s clearly a good thing to have, right up there with authenticity and resilience and the ability to be strategic. But what is it, really? Here are five signs which, in my entirely personal view, say you’re emotionally intelligent. Sign number one: Integrity When someone asks you: â€Å"What are your values?† And you don’t have to make stuff up. These days we are increasingly being challenged by people who want to know about our personal values. If you’re emotionally intelligent, you’re self-aware, and self-aware people know what matters to them, so this question holds no fear for them. They have deeply held values: values they have thought through and chosen for themselves. Ones from which they won’t be shifted; values that will transcend any situation or circumstance, and provide a template for life. Sign number two: Humility You actually seek out feedback. We all know we’re supposed to like feedback thrive on it grow ever healthier on a rich mix of formal and informal constructively critical feedback. But truth be told, if you’re not emotionally intelligent, you probably don’t really have the stomach for it. You’ll say you like it  because you know you’re supposed to (a bit like spinach or Brussels sprouts). But you don’t. And most of the time you don’t accept it or trust it either. On the other hand, if you are emotionally intelligent, you’re grounded enough to know that real self-awareness can’t only be inside-out; it has to be outside-in as well. When Socrates said the unexamined life wasn’t worth living, he didn’t just mean you examining yourself; he meant you examining what others thought and felt about you too. The emotionally intelligent know that what others think or feel or experience about you is critical to unders tand, examine, and absorb. if youre emotionally intelligent, you know that real self-awareness can’t only be inside-out it has to be outside-in as well. Sign number three: Self-reflection You critically self-reflect. This doesn’t mean you seek some sort of Zen-like state of contemplative peace. Though that’s nice too. It means you know who you are and who you strive to be. So every day, or maybe every week, you sit yourself down, look at yourself in a metaphorical mirror and ask: â€Å"Was I today/this week the person I want to be?† Now, if the answer is â€Å"no,† you need to ask â€Å"why not?† What made you someone you didn’t want to be? Did you get angry or jealous or self-indulgent or spiteful or lazy? Did you ignore your values? In what way did you fail to take responsibility for yourself? Because that’s what emotionally intelligent people do: they reflect and they take responsibility, and then they change the things they need to change so they spend more time being the person they know themselves to be. Sign number four: Thoughtfulness You choose your words carefully. When you’re emotionally intelligent you realize that if you don’t take responsibility for what you say and how you say it, you can do immeasurable, unintentional harm. But do you do this, really? Because when you do take responsibility, you realize just how alert you have to be about what you say, and that’s because others (as well as you yourself) can hold you to account. It’s also the case that if you take responsibility for what you say, you’ll be more emotionally honest and have more conversations that reflect your values and the things that matter to you. So, the more emotionally intelligent you are, the more careful you are about what you say. And so people can rely on what you say being what you mean. Sign number five: Attentiveness You actually listen. And you listen actively. Way too many of us are bad listeners! We don’t even attempt to listen to understand. We simply listen to reply. And just as often as not, we use the time that the other person is talking to gather our thoughts for our reply. But the emotionally intelligent among us realize that there are few things quite as compelling as being listened to attentively. So they give eye contact to the person who’s talking; they give undivided attention to the words and obvious consideration to the meaning and intent behind those words. The outcome is an exchange in which the speaker feels listened to, respected, and understood and the quality of the communication is vastly improved. Where did you land on the emotionally intelligent spectrum? So, how did you do? Don’t despair. Remember that the skills of emotional intelligence can be absorbed by anyone with the willingness to learn. Emotional Intelligence is about controlling and expressing your emotions in a constructive manner so that you can manage interpersonal relationships better. You’ll become more self-aware, more socially aware, better at self-management, and better at building relationships. And when you think about it like that, it’s probably worth the effort. Hults Global One-Year MBA and Executive MBA programs have a strong focus on soft skills so that Hult graduates truly know themselves and grow into effective leaders. Find out more about our programs and our award-winning leadership track by  Downloading a brochure here. More on this subject How Hult helps develop your E.Q. by Hult student Lisa Paredes Why every leader needs a growth mindset by Hult faculty Dr. Samineh Shaheem Grow your leadership capabilities with an MBA in international business at Hult. To learn more, take a look at our blog Train like a boss: Preparing for the mental and physical rigors of leadership, or give your career a boost with our Masters in International Business. Download a brochure or get in touch today to find out how Hult can help you to learn about the business world, the future, and yourself. Roger Delves Roger Delves is Associate Dean of Faculty at Hult's Ashridge Executive Education. He specializes in understanding the roles played by authenticity, emotional intelligence, and integrity in leadership and management. He is the co-author of The Top Fifty Management Dilemmas (Pearson, 2014,) Branded Britain (Bloomsbury, 2016) and co-editor of Inspiring Leadership (Bloomsbury, 2017.) Related posts Academics Beyond (narrow) business concepts: â€Å"Soft† skills turn out to be critical skills News Building success: Dual Degree students win at USASBE Community How going beyond business at Hult helped me launch my company Admissions Accepted Students Weekend: A weekend to remember Careers Career mapping: How to become an executive in the next 5 years 0 Thought leadership How to prepare for an uncertain future in a world of AI Instagram Hult Rotation offers you a chance to study in a truly global way. Our rotation program allows you to study and be immersed in some of the finest cities in the world. 📠¸: @jasminmanzano . Hult Rotation offers you a chance to study in a truly global way. Our rotation program allows you to study and be immersed in some of the finest cities in the world. 📠¸: @jasminmanzano . Each year, Hult seeks to enroll a talented and ambitious incoming class from all over the world. We look for diverse students with a wide range of experiences, perspectives, and interests—students who will thrive in our unique educational atmosphere. Are you ready for a truly global experience? 📠¸: @iambrunadiniz . Each year, Hult seeks to enroll a talented and ambitious incoming class from all over the world. We look for diverse students with a wide range of experiences, perspectives, and interests—students who will thrive in our unique educational atmosphere. Are you ready for a truly global experience? 📠¸: @iambrunadiniz . We’re excited to start 2020 on a ranking high! Hult is proud to have been placed #28 in Poets Quants 2020 rankings for Best Undergraduate Business Schools in the US. Taking a huge leap of 32 places from our 2019 position, we’re also very happy to have secured top positions in key categories like: life-changing experience, practicality of the degree, and global immersion. . With five global campuses, a student body of over 130 nationalities, and a learn-by-doing approach—Hult offers a student experience like no other. . We’re excited to start 2020 on a ranking high! Hult is proud to have been placed #28 in Poets Quants 2020 rankings for Best Undergraduate Business Schools in the US. Taking a huge leap of 32 places from our 2019 position, we’re also very happy to have secured top positions in key categories like: life-changing experience, practicality of the degree, and global immersion. . With five global campuses, a student body of over 130 nationalities, and a learn-by-doing approach—Hult offers a student experience like no other. . â€Å"I’m from an engineering background and needed a whole new skill set for the industry I wanted to switch to. I learned a lot about myself and how I deal with being out of my comfort zone. I learned both soft and hard skills, from how to work in very diverse teams to key accounting metrics and strategy. I was surprised by how weak I was at certain tasks in English or how strong I actually was in other areas. Hult gave me opportunities to try new things and meet people from places I never thought I would have friends. . My internship experiences gave me the chance to broaden my view of different cultures and different companies. I had the opportunity to work and live with people whose values differed from people in my home country. I thought that this would be difficult, but it gave me the chance to reflect on my own values and assess if they were a result of my home country environment or if they were intrinsically mine. . Diederick ter Kulve (@diederick.terkulve) Netherlands Masters in International Business . â€Å"I’m from an engineering background and needed a whole new skill set for the industry I wanted to switch to. I learned a lot about myself and how I deal with being out of my comfort zone. I learned both soft and hard skills, from how to work in very diverse teams to key accounting metrics and strategy. I was surprised by how weak I was at certain tasks in English or how strong I actually was in other areas. Hult gave me opportunities to try new things and meet people from places I never thought I would have friends. . My internship experiences gave me the chance to broaden my view of different cultures and different companies. I had the opportunity to work and live with people whose values differed from people in my home country. I thought that this would be difficult, but it gave me the chance to reflect on my own values and assess if they were a result of my home country environment or if they were intrinsically mine. . Diederick ter Kulve (@diederick.terkulve) Netherlands Masters in International Business . Say a big hello to our Bachelor of Business Administration program cover star, Elisa Orus Plana âÅ" ¨ . â€Å"I’m excited for the future—especially that I cant predict whats going to happen. Maybe Ill end up in Mexico working for a trading company or maybe in Africa, developing my own business. Everything is possible, and the options are constantly changing. I love the idea that Im never going to be stuck doing the same job until the end of my life if I dont want it to be like this. . Hult really supports me and my ambitions and truly believes that we deserve to be considered as professionals as well as students. Here, I get to express not just my opinions but all elements of myself. From my creative side with the Fashion Society to my finance and business sides in Trading Club and the Management Consulting Club. We get a different type of learning here. Not just essential knowledge and theory, but practical skills and mindset. The school is always evolving. We’re encouraged to innovate and to always look for new ways of doing traditional things. We learn how to be more confident and become aware of how we can impact our environment. The school aims to help you become a better version of yourself and to stand out from the crowd.â€Å" . Elisa Orus Plana French Bachelor of Business Administration Class of 2021 Say a big hello to our Bachelor of Business Administration program cover star, Elisa Orus Plana âÅ" ¨ . â€Å"I’m excited for the future—especially that I cant predict whats going to happen. Maybe Ill end up in Mexico working for a trading company or maybe in Africa, developing my own business. Everything is possible, and the options are constantly changing. I love the idea that Im never going to be stuck doing the same job until the end of my life if I dont want it to be like this. . Hult really supports me and my ambitions and truly believes that we deserve to be considered as professionals as well as students. Here, I get to express not just my opinions but all elements of myself. From my creative side with the Fashion Society to my finance and business sides in Trading Club and the Management Consulting Club. We get a different type of learning here. Not just essential knowledge and theory, but practical skills and mindset. The school is always evolving. We’re encouraged to innovate and to always look for new ways of doing traditional things. We learn how to be more confident and become aware of how we can impact our environment. The school aims to help you become a better version of yourself and to stand out from the crowd.â€Å" . Elisa Orus Plana French Bachelor of Business Administration Class of 2021"> During the final days of 2019, you probably reflected on what you’ve accomplished this year—and even this decade—and what you’d like to achieve in 2020. Let us know in the comments below. During the final days of 2019, you probably reflected on what you’ve accomplished this year—and even this decade—and what you’d like to achieve in 2020. Let us know in the comments below. â€Å"The first time we did group work on the program, I went head-to-head with a colleague. It taught me a lot about how I see people, how people see me, and how conflict can be resolved in a kind and productive way. The best feedback you get, when delivered constructively, is the most critical because it really feeds into how you lead. I’ve completely reversed my leadership style—the result is so much richer and more powerful when you lead from behind and lead with strength. . Studying in tandem with working, whilst challenging, gave me the perfect platform to directly apply learning concepts into my business environment, the competitive landscape, and the real-estate industry as a whole. When I started the program, I was very happy in my corporate role. But my courage and aspirations grew to the point that I took on a whole new direction. Having my career coach, Joanna, as a sounding board allowed me to really be strategic and get to know myself. She coached me thro ugh all the interviews, the research, and the questions. It went in parallel with what I was doing academically and after six months everything just clicked. . I went into the EMBA knowing I had nothing to lose and I’ve come out with everything. Great strength, global friends, amazing learning, mentors from professors, a job I love, and the knowledge that I can set my mind to achieve anything and with the right support and resources I’ll get there.† . Kashani Wijetunga British, New Zealand Sri Lankan Associate Director Senior Strategy Consultant CBRE EMBA Class of 2019 . â€Å"The first time we did group work on the program, I went head-to-head with a colleague. It taught me a lot about how I see people, how people see me, and how conflict can be resolved in a kind and productive way. The best feedback you get, when delivered constructively, is the most critical because it really feeds into how you lead. I’ve completely reversed my leadership style—the result is so much richer and more powerful when you lead from behind and lead with strength. . Studying in tandem with working, whilst challenging, gave me the perfect platform to directly apply learning concepts into my business environment, the competitive landscape, and the real-estate industry as a whole. When I started the program, I was very happy in my corporate role. But my courage and aspirations grew to the point that I took on a whole new direction. Having my career coach, Joanna, as a sounding board allowed me to really be strategic and get to know myself. She coached me thro ugh all the interviews, the research, and the questions. It went in parallel with what I was doing academically and after six months everything just clicked. . I went into the EMBA knowing I had nothing to lose and I’ve come out with everything. Great strength, global friends, amazing learning, mentors from professors, a job I love, and the knowledge that I can set my mind to achieve anything and with the right support and resources I’ll get there.† . Kashani Wijetunga British, New Zealand Sri Lankan Associate Director Senior Strategy Consultant CBRE EMBA Class of 2019 . â€Å"It was now or never. I knew that I’d have likely stayed in my neighborhood for years to come if I didn’t take this opportunity. I’d not lived or studied outside of the U.S. before. So I left my job as a global strategist at an advertising agency and moved halfway around the world. I’ve come back a more culturally aware, well-versed person. I’ve realized that everything is a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. Ill definitely carry this mindset with me into the future. Technology and social media allow us to be different people in several places at once. Im excited to see how I can establish myself in whatever city Ill be lucky enough to call home and still maintain deep connections with people all over the world. I’m inspired by my classmates every day. Hearing some of their life stories and how getting this degree fits into their greater mission has been very humbling. My biggest challenge has been finding the ‘right’ path for me. There have been rooms Ive felt like I shouldnt be in, but now Im proud to feel as though I truly belong, wherever I am.† . Dwayne Logan, Jnr. American MBA Class of 2019 . â€Å"It was now or never. I knew that I’d have likely stayed in my neighborhood for years to come if I didn’t take this opportunity. I’d not lived or studied outside of the U.S. before. So I left my job as a global strategist at an advertising agency and moved halfway around the world. I’ve come back a more culturally aware, well-versed person. I’ve realized that everything is a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. Ill definitely carry this mindset with me into the future. Technology and social media allow us to be different people in several places at once. Im excited to see how I can establish myself in whatever city Ill be lucky enough to call home and still maintain deep connections with people all over the world. I’m inspired by my classmates every day. Hearing some of their life stories and how getting this degree fits into their greater mission has been very humbling. My biggest challenge has been finding the ‘right’ path for me. There have been rooms Ive felt like I shouldnt be in, but now Im proud to feel as though I truly belong, wherever I am.† . Dwayne Logan, Jnr. American MBA Class of 2019 . Happy New Year, Hultians! . Happy New Year, Hultians! .